Let’s Talk Prolapse - Part 4 -My story
Hi, I’m Millie, mother to three beautiful little humans who rock my world.
I was diagnosed with a Stage 1 anterior vaginal wall prolapse and Stage 2 posterior vaginal wall prolapse about 4-weeks after birthing my first baby. At the time I was SO disappointed and frightened by this diagnosis. Nobody in my birthing team had warned me about getting a prolpase and I had no idea what this diagnosis really meant for me. I was a new grad physio, but I hadn’t learnt a lot about women’s health at that point. There isn’t a lot of media coverage about this topic. Celebrities don’t talk about their prolapses in their post-birth interviews. And I get it, it is hardly dinner party conversation. So I wanted to share my story in the hope that it answers some of your questions and eases some of your fears or concerns.
My labour was long but uncomplicated. I laboured in the bath through the night and pushed for 2.5 hours to birth my beautiful boy. I was exhausted but the birthing hormones (thank you oxytocin) did their trick and I felt powerful. To this day, if I drive past the birth centre, where I birthed my boy, I get a rush of oxytocin.
Physically, I was tired and sore, but not too much, and I was up and about soon after my delivery. I knew I needed rest, but I just thought it was to maintain my energy levels and have good milk supply, I didn’t understand how important it was for my body to heal.
The first thing I noticed was a feeling of heaviness in my vagina, as though something was falling out of it. It was a new sensation and a bit uncomfortable, but it wasn’t painful. I noticed it on and off for a couple of days, so I finally got up the courage to feel the opening of my vagina and sure enough I could feel a bulge. At that time I knew very little about prolapse or what the prognosis was, and I catastrophised it in my head. Google didn’t help. It’s a minefield and there is such a lot of conflicting, horrifying and confusing information. I worried that I could never run again, that this prolapse might affect my ability to ever birth another baby via another vaginal delivery, about whether I could return to my sport of climbing, not to mention have sex. I was devastated.
I managed to get an appointment fairly quickly with a gynaecologist who spent 5 minutes with me, did a quick internal assessment, confirmed I had a prolapse and instructed me that I shouldn’t lift anything over 15kg and shouldn’t ever put on weight. Good-bye. I tried to ask a couple of questions but in his mind the appointment was complete and he’d moved on, so the answers I received were dismissive. Basically, it was awful. It was only once I was out of that doctor’s office that my real learning began.
I saw a women’s health physiotherapist, joined a postnatal physio-led Pilates course and started restrengthening my pelvic floor and deep abdominals.
I also started resting in bed, in a horizontal position, A LOT.
I was pretty committed and over the next couple of months my symptoms reduced significantly.
9.5 years later and I still have a prolapse, but I don’t give it much thought. I will always have it, but that’s ok. It doesn’t stop me doing anything. I have a full and active life. I lift really heavy stuff, much more than 15kg, all the time. I jump on our trampoline, I go hiking with 20+kg on my back, I have pain-free enjoyable sex and I frequently run 15km. And my symptoms don’t increase when I do these things. But initially they would. Absolutely. Initially, I couldn’t do any of the above without my symptoms increasing. This change took time. Even though I know my prolapse is still there and I can still feel it, I can confidently say that I don’t let it stop me doing anything, and I rarely worry about it.
I have had two more pregnancies and vaginal deliveries since my diagnosis. During both of these pregnancies my prolapse symptoms increased very soon after getting pregnant. By the third trimester the feeling of heaviness was quite uncomfortable, especially towards the end of the day or after a lot of standing or carrying my toddler. Rest helped, so I would lie down when I got the chance. The vaginal deliveries made my symptoms significantly worse. In the early weeks post-birth I experienced heaviness and bulging and when I did a poo I needed to splint my back vaginal wall with my thumb. If you’ve never had to do it, I know it sounds gross, but this technique makes a massive difference when you have a bowel prolapse.
I really had to prioritise horizontal rest after both these births, especially for the first 3 weeks. As in, I spent HOURS lying in bed. I almost always fed my babies lying down and I spent time with my older kid(s) reading stories and snuggling in bed where possible. I didn’t love all the rest. In fact, I remember feeling pretty sorry for myself at times, but I knew that I needed to allow my body to heal. By 3-weeks postpartum my symptoms were significantly better and I was able to spend more time upright and less time resting. But I still rested A LOT. I had to. The moment I did too much my symptoms increased. Over the next couple of months I worked with a women’s health physio, rebuilt my core and let my symptoms guide me. I was able to gradually increase my activity levels. Although these two pregnancies and births increased my symptoms at the time, they did not make my prolapse worse in the long run.
These days, the only time my prolapse bothers me is if I am constipated and the stool is hard to pass. It’s uncomfortable, but still not painful. I am careful to eat enough fibre, drink plenty of water, exercise regularly and to try and follow a bowel routine. And I always keep some stool softener in the cupboard ‘just in case’. On those days when I am a bit constipated I may still have to splint my vaginal wall to pass the stool. I have learnt through the years not to stress about it, or over-think it, I’ll be back on track soon.
Thanks so much for reading my story. It’s been such a joy to write it and revisit the last 9.5 years, and hopefully it’s helped to ease your mind about your own journey.
